Tommy and I handled our losses differently. What was important was that we both recognized that the other person healed in a unique way. When I felt like no one else could possibly know how I was feeling, I had to remind myself that even though he didn’t carry them, Tommy had lost a child too. And even though he “carried on” seemingly easier than I did, he was just being strong for me. How would we go on if we both fell apart? And how hard must that have been for him to watch me in such pain and not be able to fix it?
We have three children here and three in heaven. I remember the grief of each one as if it were yesterday, but I am thankful for the journey. We are stronger parents for it. And I am thankful for this project because it is the first time I have had the courage to talk to my children about their other siblings they will meet some day.